A product test set to music of the 70s and 80s

Sometimes it’s easy to write, other times I need someone to give me the heimlich to even spew out a thought. What I’m saying is: I’ve been trying to write this product review for weeks and I got nothin’. My grandmother always said, “if you’re ever in need of inspiration, turn up the radio and let the songs be your guide”. So join me as I tell you about Fresh Paper through the music of the 70s and 80s.

fresh label

Presenting Fresh Paper. It’s a recyclable, all-natural, ingenious preserver of produce. No more hanging your head in shame as you unearth the hairy raspberries and limp carrots from the produce drawer! Why it’s nothing less than a MIRACLE!

Fresh Paper PROMISES your bananas won’t brown as briskly. It PROMISES your lettuces won’t slime so speedily.

Amazing! But how exactly does it work? Fresh Paper combines paper with fenugreek and SCIENCE.

There’s rarely a day that I don’t have a black banana sitting on my kitchen counter, so I figured that was a good place to start. Side by side I positioned the ‘nanas. The one on the left has a Fresh Paper under it. Then I stood guard over them so no one would eat one and ruin the whole experiment. Here’s what they looked like after 7 days…

fresh banana day 7
Remember, the one on the left has a Fresh Paper sheet under it…not too impressive. Darn. I wanted so badly for Fresh Paper to work, so I looked to find a reason to believe.

Next I got a couple tubs of spring greens. I opened both, put a Fresh Sheet in one batch, closed them up and left them in the fridge for a week…

fresh green 3

fresh greens 2









The one on the left had the Fresh Paper sheet under it. Although there was a little less slime, it was enough to negatively effect the whole batch. The batch on the right without the Fresh Paper was a mess.

Although Fresh Paper is very popular and has received positive reviews and a lot of awards, I’m not sold on its effectiveness and cannot give it the Scullery Maid’s Stamp of Approval. And since I’m being honest, my grandma never said that bit about listening to music for inspiration. She did once say that my eye makeup made me look like a gypsy, so I’ll leave you with this…

Cher, Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves, 1971

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